“You mean to tell me that if she eats a tangerine she’ll have tantrum?” scoffed my angry husband. “That if she eats a single piece of fruit, FRUIT! She’ll have a crying fit?” He was exhausted. I was exhausted. And I was banging on about this topic for the zillionth time.
Bleary eyed from months, close to a year, of sleep deprivation and living a daily nightmare, I felt a tantrum of my own coming on and I hadn’t touched tangerines, or any fruit for that matter, for 8 weeks now.
“Listen to yourself!” he could not help but shout at me now, “Do you hear how ridiculous you sound? You’re obsessed, totally obsessed with food!” He has had it. He’s finally flipped. Blown his lid.
All I’ve talked about the past 8 weeks is food. How this may affect that, how this is one is forbidden, how this other could be trialled in small doses… He’s totally right of course, I am obsessed. All I can think about is what food is permitted, what can I make for the next meal, will it be safe for my children…I spend my life shopping for food and in the kitchen cooking strange recipes with ingredients I’ve never heard off before, let alone cooked with. I’m terrified about putting anything in my mouth in case it goes through the breast milk and affects my youngest, which will, I know, result in more sleepless nights and more days of utter misery.
“Of course all I talk about it food” I feebly try to justify myself, “My life revolves around food at the moment, it has too! M’s diagnosis has totally changed the way I can look at food now-” He shakes his head, he doesn’t want to hear it.
We were on the verge of seeking help from a child psychologist. My oldest, three year old daughter had been going through the “terrible twos” for way too long. When she had been 18 months we blamed it on the approaching “twos” when it stayed long after her second birthday we assumed it would disappear, as a frog may turn into a prince, on her third birthday. Her third birthday came and went and her mood swings hadn’t. As parents we were strict but loving, protective yet open to her learning from her experiences and her mistakes. We were doing everything by the book. We simply couldn’t see how the problem could be with us. We were reluctantly beginning to believe that my daughter, my darling, headstrong, iron willed, intelligent, super-active, daughter, had behavioural issues.
My husband stormed out of the room and I collapsed into yet another heap of helpless tears, wondering whether a marriage breakdown was on the list of consequences of undertaking the Elimination Diet.
That was the last time we argued about food. It all changed pretty soon after that and we had our youngest daughter, our “super-responder” to thank for that.
Here are the links to where I’ve written about our journey as a Food Intolerant Family:
Have a look at my Allergy Friendly Recipe Sections for Failsafe ideas for Super Responders and at the Food Intolerance Category for other things I’ve discussed!
Meanwhile, our story and our journey continue, please feel free to leave a comment and tell me about your own journeys, I’d love to hear from you!